There are games that cause your processor to groan with pure pain. There are games that absorb you and refuse to let you go. Games that thrust you in to a living, breathing world like none you've ever seen before. life unfolds around you and the game makes you a hero, a wizard, a villain, an explorer of the vast expanses of space.
And then there's Solitaire.
It's a card game.
And I can't seem to stop playing it.
I used to play Solitaire when I was a kid. I think most people did. Either with actual cards, or as one of the inbuilt games on Windows I used to sink hours into the game and I like to think I got pretty good at it. I wasn't, since I only used to use the draw one rules, rather than the devilish draw three, but I still had fun.
And so, I decided to get a Solitaire game on my phone. What could be the harm? The little processor could handle it easily since I can now play the Pokémon games on it. It'd be a harmless distraction during times of boredom.
I'm reliably informed* that this is the way Satan works. Convince you that such a small and tiny thing can barely make a difference... and once you've let it in BAM - you lose days.
Solitaire certainly does. Almost every spare moment has been consumed by this horrific beast from below. Sometimes it's gotten so bad that I see the board when I close my eyes. The compulsive little whore whispers 'just one more... go on' at 4am when I really need to sleep. Modern games boast about a playing experience that goes into the tens of hours, or an infinite number of quests, like Skyrim.
Well fuck those guys. Solitaire has a different playing experience every single time. And they say that every game can be solved. Bollocks. There are times that, with my bloodied and now useless stumps of fingers, even I am forced to admit defeat. And then the black seven, sitting atop a covered red eight, laughs at me across the virtual dimensions. It knows it's won. But only this time.
And that's the reason that I've managed to get my record time for completing a game down to one minute fifty seconds. Because I need that sweet hit of numbers.
|You may think it's just a seven. But all I see is a giant 'FUCK YOU'.|
I thought World of Warcraft was the worst for heady number compulsion. Oh, but I was so, so wrong.
Someone, please help me.
*No I'm not.
It's Solitaire. You have it. But if you're really lazy, click here to play a game. Oh god, it's automatically started a game! Noooooooo...
Labels: compulsive, Solitaire